


sunshine

by rainbowsandpeaches19



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-25 22:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17733914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowsandpeaches19/pseuds/rainbowsandpeaches19
Summary: “How in hell can you be friends with Jesse and spend so much time with him. Doesn’t he go on your nerves with the way he is acting, you must be tired of him?”Marcus had heard that question so many times now from family, old friends or team mates but he still didn’t know why his and jesses friendship was such a hard concept for so many people.Or Marcus is Jesses biggest fan and secretly in love with him!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had no intention wo write this story, I was acutally working on a new part for my Dele and Eric series but than I had this idea for this story and had to write it down.  
> This is in the same universe as my Dele and Eric story but the only thing you need to know about them is that they are happy and in love!
> 
> Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes.

“How in hell can you be friends with Jesse and spend so much time with him. Doesn’t he go on your nerves with the way he is acting, you must be tired of him?” 

Marcus had heard that question so many times now from family, old friends or team mates but he still didn’t know why his and jesses friendship was such a hard concept for so many people.  
Yes they were different, Marcus had always been more of a quiet person and had spent a lot of time inside his own head and Jesse was loud and never thought about stuff before doing it. But wasn’t that the beauty of friendship to be completely different but still get on really well with each other.

And it was not like Jesse hadn’t helped Marcus a lot since they started to play for the first team together.  
Jesse was this tiny little goofball that was always in a good mood and you could try as hard as you want, just never got embarrassed when something went completely wrong. He also never stopped believing and he would never give up. He was so unapologetically himself and didn’t care what other people would think about him.  
Well that was at least how he would describe Jesse, other people clearly had different opinions about him. 

They used words like childish, unreliable and not professional or liked to say that there was clearly something wrong with his head because of the way he was acting.  
Football experts loved to make fun of his dancing or liked to tell him that he wasn’t preparing right for games and was not professional enough to be successful.  
But Marcus thought that they were all just boring and just all had a problem with a person that was just doing what he wants to do and was proud of himself while doing it  
.  
Jesse had helped him a lot since they had become friends and helped him so much with his anxiety he had always carried with himself. But it wasn’t until Jesse stepped into his life that he learned how to step out of his own worrying thoughts. It was Jesse who showed him that even if stuff wasn’t going perfectly you still had to laugh and you had to allow yourself to be happy.  
Marcus now knew where he had to go when he started to think too much again and the anxious feeling started to creep up in him again. He just had to jump in his car and go over to Jesse who would open the door with a big smile and five minutes later he would be laughing so much that his belly started to hurt and he didn’t even know anymore what had made him so scared.  
All in all you could say Marcus was one of Jesses biggest fans.

And that was also were his problems began. He wasn’t only his biggest fan he also had started to fall in love with him.  
He had realized it when it was already too late and he was in too deep.  
And it started to become a problem. If anyone just looked at Jesse funny he wanted to throw hands.  
But the worst thing was Jesse talking about girls with him, telling him stories about ex love island candidates hitting him up on social media and hooking up with instagram models who were so hot he couldn’t believe it, well that were of course Jesses words.  
And Marcus sat through all of the stories and went to clubs with him to see Jesse flirting and going home with girls in real life and all Marcus wanted to do was to scream at the girls to get their hands away from Jesse because he was his.  
It was just so easy to imagine Jesse as something more than just a mate, he was such a cuddly person, always nearly sitting on top of Marcus when watching a movie and even cuddling in bed with him, he just loved to attach himself to Marcus constantly which made the whole thing for Marcus not a lot easier.  
He had never talked with anyone about these feelings, he was too embarrassed about them and also feared what they would mean for his career and especially for his friendship with Jesse.  
Well he hadn’t told anyone up to the point of that damn loss against Croatia in the worldcup.

Russia 2018

Everyone was just sad and there were tears all around him but what pained Marcus most was Jesse looking so down, he had never seen him like this, he normally was even laughing after a loss trying to cheer everyone up. But now Jesse just didn’t seem like Jesse, starring into nothing and his eyes full of tears.  
Marcus had tried to talk to him but it didn’t work and he felt helpless because he could do nothing.  
Marcus looked jealous at Eric, who held Dele in his arms while he was literally sobbing into his neck, Eric stroking over his back and speaking quietly to calm him down. Even taking Deles face into his hands and wiping the tears away and gently kissing his cheek.  
Why couldn’t that be Jesse and him, he thought full of jealousy.  
He was so deep in his thoughts that he nearly didn’t realize Ashley had sat himself next to Marcus.  
“Everything alright Marcus?” his older team mate checked up on him.  
“yeah just disappointed honestly just want to get to the hotel and sleep.” He said and tried to smile at Ashley who was kind enough to even check on his younger team mate when he was himself more than disappointed.  
They arrived at the hotel and when they were in the lobby, Marcus heard Ruben ask around.  
“Anyone wanna go out with me, maybe meet some Russian birds and get laid.”  
Marcus just shook his head at the suggestion, who would want to go out now, he thought.  
But the next thing he heard was Jesses voice “yeah I’m in.”  
And Marcus thought he had heard wrong but the next minute he actually saw Ruben Jesse and John leaving in the hotel again in their small group. Jesse not even looking once at Marcus and it hurt him more than he wanted to admit.  
He was close to tears now and just stood in the lobby not knowing what to do now.

It was Eric who seemed to sense that there was something not quite right with him and he nudged Dele in his side who was still clinging onto him and said something to him and then walked over to Marcus.  
“You alright Marcus? Do you want to come to the hotel bar with Dele and me for some drinks. I know you could probably picture better things than hanging out with Dele but I don’t think being on your own will be so much better.” Eric said and he could feel that he really wanted to cheer him up and yes maybe Eric was right and a bit of talking and drinking was better than going to bed now and crying through the rest of the night.  
So he nodded and Eric smiled at him.  
“There we go” he said and Marcus followed Eric and Dele to the hotel bar.  
Dele looked better now his eyes still red from crying but you could already make out his childish smile again and his eyes weren’t empty anymore. Eric really had done wonders.  
They sat down at the bar and started drinking and talking, at the start Marcus was mostly quiet and rather just heard Eric and Dele talk about random stuff but after a few drinks Marcus started to join into the conversation.  
And with more and more drinks his tongue started to loosen up and when he saw a tipsy Dele kissing Eric on the cheek he couldn’t help himself but blurt out.  
“Are you two now actually together, I have been wondering about that for such a long time”  
Eric and Dele grinned at each other.  
“Well do you think I do that with all my team mates”, said Dele and then grabbed Erics face and just like that kissed him fully on the lips.  
Marcus looked at them and he wasn’t shocked at all more surprised how open they were with him and just like that seeing them together his jealous feelings were back.

Why couldn’t that be Jesse and him, why couldn’t Jesse kiss him like that, why couldn’t he be wiping away Jesses tears and kiss him happy again?  
And then he started crying, his eyes filling with tears and he fully started sobbing. Both Dele and Eric were around him in a second, Eric pressing him against his chest and Marcus tears making Erics shirt wet while Dele calmly stroked over Marcus hair.  
“Rashy, what is it?” Dele asked him and then he just couldn’t stay quiet anymore.  
“I want something like you two have. Why can’t I have something like this? Why can’t Jesse love me?” Marcus sobbed into Erics shirt.  
And both of them seemed to understand looking at each other knowingly.  
“You are in love with Jesse?” Dele asked and Marcus just nodded, terrified he had admitted it to somebody else.  
“Have you ever talked to him about it?” Eric now said and looked at him.  
“No way too terrified he wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore .” Marcus truthfully said.  
“I know that from somewhere” Eric said and looked at Dele.  
“Talking is sometimes key, you know I can tell you that, I could have avoided a lot of heartbrake if I would have just talked to Eric in the first place.”  
“How did you two then end up together?” Marcus really wanted to know maybe there was actual still hope there for him and Jesse.  
“Well that is a long story and it was a lot of mess. It included me being an absolute asshole to Dele and breaking his heart and thinking I had finally lost him before I had the balls to admit that I loved him and I wanted to be with him. But in the end it was all worth it.” Eric said and smiled at Dele again.  
“You know what, I think it is time to go to bed.” Eric suggested and Marcus only now noticed how incredible tired and drunk he was.  
Eric and Dele brought him to his hotel room and from the moment his head hit the pillow he drifted into a deep sleep, exhausted from the day.

The sun woke him up the next morning and he wondered why he hadn’t closed the blinds last night before going to bed, because he knew he wasn’t able to sleep when his room was bright and sunny in the morning.  
Then he remembered the last evening and the following night and the memories started to come back.  
The defeat and the incredible sad feeling after.  
Jesse. Jesse his personal sunshine who had acted like a total different person and he hadn’t spoken to since before the game.  
And of course the conversation with Eric and Dele and his embarrassing breakdown in front of them and him sobbing into Erics shirt and telling them about his biggest secret, telling them about Jesse.  
He had to talk to them, they couldn’t tell anyone else. He had to make sure they would stay quiet about this.  
So he stumbled out of bed and just now realized his headache, he swore to himself to never drink again if that was the outcome of it.  
He was quick in the bathroom and put on the first pair of joggers and shirt he could find before he left his room to find Eric.

He hoped he was awake, but actually didn’t really care, he just had to make sure that he would keep quiet and for that he would also happily wake him up.  
He stopped in front of Erics room and banged on his door, there was silence for a few seconds, till he heard Eric cursing inside and then the door was slowly opening.  
“I’m sorry if I woke you up, but I have to talk to you.” Marcus said quickly and Eric looked at him as if he had gone insane.  
“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Dele, he was the one you woke up. What is it, that is so important that you have to make such a noise in the morning?” Eric said but pushed the door a bit more open to let Marcus in.  
If he wasn’t in such a panic, be probably would have laughed about Eric, who stood in front of him just in his boxers and looked so sleepy and grumpy.  
A quick look to the bed showed him that yes, he had indeed interrupted Deles beauty sleep, who looked even more sleepy in the middle of the bed.  
“I’m really sorry Del” he said to him and Dele just let himself fall back onto the bed again, mumbling something to himself that sounded a lot like, I hate relationship drama or something like that.  
Marcus stood there awkwardly fully aware now that he had just completely invaded their morning.  
“ Ähm I actually just wanted to ask you two if you could keep quiet about this whole Jesse thing please.” Marcus finally said.  
Dele sat up in the bed again and looked at Marcus.  
“Who do you think we are, mate? Do you think I’m going straight to Jesse and tell him. I’m a bit of a dick sometimes, but come on, especially I know how this situation feels.”  
“Yes I’m sorry but I just panicked and I just needed to hear that this will be safe with you two, I never wanted to tell it to anybody in the first place and it just slipped out.” Marcus said.  
“I can guarantee you that we won’t tell anybody.” Eric reassured Marcus and he relaxed again.  
“Why Jesse at all, he is a bit of a weird one, isn’t he and he is so tiny as well, you could probably do better.” Dele said  
“Could ask Eric the same thing, could probably do way better as well” Marcus defended himself and Eric laughed about the conversation.  
“Eric can be glad that he has me, I’m perfect you know.” Dele said and smiled big at Eric who smiled back at him.  
“Well what can I say, I’m blessed with a perfect boyfriend.” Eric said and now both of them were full on grinning at each other.  
That was the time for Marcus to leave them again, he had already interrupted their morning enough, he really didn’t need to sit through them flirting with each other for the rest of the morning.

When he left Erics room, he didn’t know what to do, so he just went down to the breakfast room and hoped that somebody, maybe would be awake as well.  
When he entered the room, it was relatively quiet but a few players were up, Kane and Danny having a conversation over their cornflakes, Jordan grumpily scrolling through his phone and Jack making himself a coffee. It wasn’t really his crowd of people but he thought a conversation with Harry and Danny would probably not be the worst, boring, but at least not weird.  
He wanted to walk over to them, but in the next moment, he heard a loud voice behind him.

“Beansssssssssssssss” 

He would recognize that voice anywhere and there was only one person with such a silly nickname for him.  
The next thing he knew was that Jesse hugged him from behind and pressed his face into him.  
“Morning buddy” Jesse mumbled against his back and Marcus felt the happiest he had felt in a while. Everything was alright again, Jesse was Jesse again, his personal sunshine, that made everyday bearable as horrible as it could seem.  
Jesse finally let go of him and smiled big at him, “ come on let’s get breakfast, we need to make plans for our holiday together.”  
He of course walked after Jesse with a big grin on his face, sitting down next to him and just letting himself be consumed by Jesse who was talking him through their holiday plans, he had made.  
And Marcus knew he probably would have made an expedition to Antarctica if that would have been Jesses plans for their holiday, but Jesse's plan to go to LA and Miami did sound good and the people who Jesse wanted to invite to come with them, it sounded like the holiday would be a great laugh.  
“You do know that I at least have to see my family for like a week and go on a bit of a holiday with them as well.” Marcus said laughing about how excited Jesse was.  
“Ooh come on, but not longer than a week, it wouldn’t be the same without you.” Jesse pouted “what if you go on a holiday with them for a week and then you come and meet up with us in LA, but you have to promise me that you are not going to be with them for more than a week.”  
“I can promise you that, I don’t want to miss any of the stuff that you have planed.”  
Jesse looked proud of himself that Marcus seemed to like his plans, if only he knew that Marcus would have supported every silly idea he could have said.  
Marcus didn’t ask Jesse about the last night and his weird behavior or if he did actually find a Russian bird in a nightclub yesterday. He was just happy that Jesse was back to his old self again.

The last few days of the worldcup went by so quickly and they soon enough found themselves on their flight back to England.  
Everyone was sad that it wasn’t coming home and that their time together as a team was over now but at the same time everyone seemed happy with the amazing experience they have had. Nearly everyone made plans to meet up on their holidays, when they discovered that they had similar destinations.  
And Marcus was just excited about his holiday with Jesse and watched him making plans with Welbz to meet up in Miami because they would be there at around the same time.  
“Heard you going on holiday with Jesse?” Eric said suddenly and dropped himself in the seat next to Marcus, which had been empty since Jesse had abandoned it.  
“Yeah with Jesse and a few of our friends, first LA then Miami. But before that I’m going to spend some time with my family first. Where are you and Del off to?”  
“Well I’m going back to Portugal spend a bit of time with my family and the dogs and hang out with friends and Dele is going to the US with his brother and a few of his friends. But after that we are going to meet up in Portugal again and spend some time together, maybe go to Ibiza or Mykonos for a few days and then the season is going to start again, will be a very short summer for all of us.” Eric said and smiled.  
“Oh yes it will be but for now I’m just excited for a really good and relaxing holiday”  
“You do know that if you are feeling really down because of the whole Jesse thing you can always talk to me or Del. Especially Del knows how hard a situation like this can be and sometimes you need to talk to somebody, just wanted to say that again.” Eric smiled at him and Marcus smiled back grateful for what Eric had said.

“Oy Dier move out of my seat and don’t try to steal Beans from me, go back to your sleepy girlfriend a few seats down there” Jesses voice snapped them out of their conversation.  
“I’m already going, I would never try to steal your Beans from you.” Eric laughed and stood up from the seat. “Well looks like I am going to go back to my very entertaining best friend over there who can surprisingly sleep with all that noise around him.” Eric said before he walked back to his seat.


	2. Chapter 2

Marcus really enjoyed his time with his family but also couldn’t deny that he was more than excited to see Jesse again. Even though it was not like he hadn’t heard from Jesse since they said goodbye to each other at the airport, everyday he had to click through an about hour long instagram story from Jesse and if that wasn’t enough Jesse basically texted him hourly updates of what he was up to in LA.  
And even though Marcus acted annoyed when he had to click through the endless seeming instagram stories he couldn’t be happier seeing Jesse so happy and excited.  
After a week he was finally on his way over to LA and he probably had the biggest smile on his face when he walked into their shared house there. 

And then there he was, Jesse standing there at the pool in his Gucci swimming shorts and Marcus wanted to run over there and kiss him and never let go of him.  
When Jesse saw him he nearly dropped his phone and excitedly screamed.  
“Beansss there you are, Beansss is in the house.”   
And Marcus had to laugh about it seeing Jesse running over to him and then wrapping his arms around him.  
“Missed you buddy, now the holiday can really begin.” Jesse said and Marcus cursed himself again for how in love he was with this idiot.  
“Yeah alright Jesse, we only haven’t seen each other for a week, not years.”  
“Can’t I miss my best friend in the whole world” Jesse said laughing, “oh my god I have to inform instagram that you have to arrived, the world needs to know that Rashy and JLingz are reunited again after such a long time.”  
And the next thing he knew was Jesse screaming at his phone that Beans was here and shoving the camera into Marcus face who awkwardly waved. He was used to this he had known Jesse for too long to be shocked by anything he would do.

Marcus had an amazing first evening in LA with Jesse and their other friends, just eating tons of food, drinking and sharing dumb stories over dinner. Marcus had decided to stay sober for this whole holiday, he couldn’t trust himself around alcohol when Jesse was around because he didn’t want to drunkenly confess his feelings to Jesse in the back of an Uber in the middle of the night.  
But this was certainly not Jesses plan who had drunk a bit too much over dinner, he wasn’t shitfaced just tipsy but he needed even more attention after he had a bit of alcohol.  
“Can you carry me to the house, I’m tired and I don’t want to walk anymore” Jesse said while leaning against Marcus shoulder in the car.   
“Oh come on Jess, you are not a child, get up and walk like a normal person” Marcus responded looking at Jesse, who pouted.  
“But Beanssss, I’m tired.” Jesse protested and Marcus could hear their friend chuckle from the front seat before he excited the car.  
“Oh come on Jess” but Marcus knew he would have no chance with Jesse, who could be so stubborn when he wanted something.  
“Alright I carry you piggyback to the house, is that alright?”   
Jesse smiled, “more than alright”   
Marcus cursed himself for giving in again, but it wasn’t like he hated carrying Jesse to the house, if he wanted to he would do that for the rest of his life.  
Jesse had his legs wrapped around his torso and his arms were gripping firmly around his neck while he could feel Jesses breath against his neck and it made him shiver.  
“Can you bring me to my room?” Jesse asked and Marcus just nodded and carried him up the stairs as well before he carefully dropped him into the bed.   
“Thanks Beans” said Jesse and smiled at him. “Can you come cuddle, please?”   
Marcus looked at Jesse and wanted to scream, why was this his life, why did Jesse need to make everything about a hundred times worth.  
“Oh Jess, I’m pretty sure you can sleep on your own, you are 25 years old for fucks sake.”  
“But you are my best friend and I want to cuddle with you, don’t you like me anymore?”  
Marcus gave up, his life was a joke either way so this couldn’t make it any worse, so he got into bed with Jesse who squeaked excitedly.  
“But I’m the big spoon” said jesse and wrapped his arms around his back and Marcus sighted.  
“Of course you are”

He woke up the next morning with his whole body aching, he looked down on himself and was still wearing last nights clothes and then remembered why.  
He looked next to himself where Jesse was still fast asleep and Marcus had to smile about how cute he looked when he was sleeping.  
Before he could do anything stupid or he started daydreaming about waking up next to Jesse on a regular basis, he got up and excited the room.  
The house was quiet, everyone was still asleep and Marcus loved it, really liked when everything was quiet in the morning. He got out of his clothes and in the shower, brushed his teeth and went out to the pool to have a swim in the morning, before he decided to make himself breakfast.  
The fridge was nearly empty and it didn’t really surprise him none of his friends had any idea how to be organized. He found some eggs and bacon and also got the coffee machine running. The smell of bacon eggs and coffee seemed to have woken up the house. And a bit later everyone was downstairs, stealing Marcus breakfast from him.

Marcus really loved the holiday and was excited when they went from LA to Miami on their next stop of their vacation together.  
“Look isn’t she hot, mate?” said Jesse and held his phone under Marcus nose, showing him a picture of an attractive blonde girl in a bikini.  
“Yeah she’s alright.”  
“She isn’t just alright she is unbelievable hot. Do you know what the best thing is, she is keen to meet up with me in Miami and she also has an equally hot friend.” Jesse said excitedly and Marcus had to control himself to not roll his eyes too much.  
“Oh come on Rashy, she would be perfect for you, you haven’t had any action in forever.”  
“Oh come on Jesse, you know that I don’t like stuff like this, I’m sure someone from our friends will be more than happy to meet her incredible good looking other friend.”   
“But it’s our holiday Marcus and we are young we are supposed to have fun on our holiday.” Jesse said annoyed and Marcus hated it, why couldn’t he just be a normal mate to Jesse.

When they were in Miami, Jesse of course did invite the girl and a few of her friends over to theirs and Marcus thought he should have just done something different with his holiday, spending more time with his family and bringing a bit of space between him and Jesse would have probably been a better idea.  
Marcus really couldn’t hear it anymore how incredible hot this insta girl was and how much she was flirting with Jesse over his dms. He felt like leaving a few nasty comments under the girls instagram pictures, like a thirteen year old jealous teenage girl, but he wasn’t a teenage girl he was a 20 year old lad who knew that it wasn’t her fault at all and it also wasn’t Jesses, it was his own fault because he couldn’t control his feelings. That was when he decided he should call Dele, at first he wanted to call Eric but then he remembered that Dele had told him that he had been in a similar situation with Eric and so he thought maybe Dele could help him.   
He never thought he would be at a point at which Dele seemed to be his only hope to help him and he had to ask him for advice, what had his life come to.  
So Marcus called Dele.  
“Hey mate you alright, why you calling?” Dele answered the phone.  
“Yeah I’m alright, well not really and Eric said that I could call on of you two when I was feeling shit because of the Jesse situation and it’s just all too much for me right now” Marcus said honestly.  
“Oh Marcus I know how shitty a situation like this can be, it can be like pure torture.”  
“Yes I know and like Jesse has invited this girl over to ours this evening he was dming her for days on instagram and can’t stop talking about how hot she is and stuff and she is bringing some friends over as well. And Jesse always wants me to hook up with one of her friends and I think he is getting suspicious because he never sees me hooking up with girls anymore and I’m always telling him that stuff like this is just not my thing and everything is just so damn complicated Del.” Marcus told Dele about his misery.  
“You are in Miami right now?” Dele suddenly asked  
“Yes, we are why?”  
“Well I’m in Miami as well, what if you come over to ours tonight then you can at least get out of this situation for this night.” Dele suggested  
“Oh my god really Del, you’re a legend mate” and Marcus could hear Dele laugh.

Dele gave him his address and Marcus was writing it down, happy he could escape the situation for the night.  
Now he only had to tell Jesse that he somehow had other plans for the night which wouldn’t involve him.   
“Did you know Dele is also in Miami right now?” said Marcus trying to get the conversation in the direction he wanted.  
“No didn’t know that, hasn’t he been in LA as well?”  
“Mmmh Dele just texted me because he saw that I was also in Miami and asked me to come over to theirs tonight, will probably be a right laugh” Marcus said nervously and looked at Jesse.  
“No you can’t go tonight, Megan and her friends are coming over tonight and we wanna go to that club with them.”  
“Oh that was tonight, but I already said to Del that I would be coming over to his and he is only here for two more days.”  
“You can meet Del everyday in England” Jesse actually seemed annoyed that Marcus wouldn’t be with them but Marcus wouldn’t give in this time.  
“But it would be rude to cancel on him when I already said that I would come over.”   
“Well it’s your decision, if you really want to rather spend your evening with Dele okay" Jesse frowned and looked disappointed at Marcus.  
It hurt Marcus that he had upset Jesse but he had to think about himself here.  
Even though Jesse was mad at him Marcus did go over to Dele in the evening before they would go on their night out.  
“I owe you something really Dele you have saved my life tonight” said Marcus when he entered Deles Miami house.  
“No problem mate, it’s a shitty situation to be in love with your best mate, I lived through it for a while. But you can’t run away from situations like this all the time. I think in the end you will have to talk to him about it."  
“Yes I know I’m just so fucking scared that he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore and it will be awkward between us”, Marcus said truthfully.  
“But if you don’t talk then in the end it will hurt you both.”

Besides Marcus thinking a lot about him and Deles conversation Marcus had an amazing evening with Dele, his brother and his friends and he had a lot of fun.  
He stayed over at theirs for the night and had breakfast with them together the next morning and he dreaded going home again, didn’t want to hear the stories about the last night.  
“Really mate talk to him, if you want my advice” said Dele before Marcus got into his uber that would take him back to his and Jesses.  
When he got home the house seemed quiet, which wasn’t suprising course they had gone out yesterday. He tried to be as quietly as he could to not wake somebody up when he went to his room.  
“Oh you finally back mate” Marcus heard his mate Jermains voice from the stairs.  
“Yeah, you had a great night yesterday?” Marcus asked him  
“Well it probably would have been if you hadn’t bailed on us which left Jesse in a total mood, he wasn’t enjoying himself at all and got hammered, we had our hands full to get him home yesterday.”  
“It can’t be because of me, there had to have been something else wrong with him.” Marcus wondered, it could not be him that had such an influence on Jesse's mood.  
“No I’m telling you he was so upset that you didn’t want to come with us.” Jermain said.  
“It’s not like he needs me to get with a girl.” Marcus said confused.  
“Yeah but he needs you around all the time he is fucking miserable when you aren’t around especially if you just cancel on him when he was so excited for that night.”  
Marcus was confused he had no intention to hurt Jesse and he felt horrible now.  
“Is he still sleeping?” Marcus asked  
“Don’t know just wanted to go check up on him”  
“Well let me. I can look how he is” said Marcus and went to Jesses room. He pushed the door open and saw a sleeping Jesse in his bed and Marcus heart started beating a bit faster.  
He sat himself on the bed next to a sleeping Jesse.  
He looked at him and felt his heart grow with love the longer he watched him, yes he had to tell him about his feelings he thought, because this wouldn’t only hurt him but also Jesse and he couldn't bare to see Jesse hurt.   
He wanted to get up again and leave Jesse so that he could sleep for a bit longer.  
“Mmmmh Rashy you back?” Jesse slurred and he opened his eyes.  
“Yes I’m back, how you feeling heard you drank a bit too much last night.” Marcus said softly.  
“Killer headache. Why didn’t you want to go out with us last night?” said Jesse and looked Marcus in the eyes and Marcus didn’t know what to say.  
“I think we should discuss this some other time when you aren’t hungover and half asleep.” Marcus tried to get out of this conversation for now, there was enough time to have this conversation at another moment.  
“Why do you seem so distant since we are on this holiday, do you not like to hang out with me anymore?” Jesse looked disappointed at Marcus.  
“Of course I like to spend time with you dummy, nobody makes me laugh like you do, you are my best mate.” Marcus said honestly to Jesse.  
“But there is something, I have noticed it for a while now and I know you all think I’m a bit dumb and I don’t realize stuff like that but I do.”  
“Jesse please don’t do this right now.” Marcus just wanted to get out of this room and out of this conversation, he didn't want to loose Jesse right now.  
“But you can tell me everything Marcus, you know that. There is nothing that you can say that would make me feel different about you” Jesse said and Marcus felt his eyes burning on him.

“Oh my god Jesse I’m in love with you for fuck sake.” Marcus was shocked had he now actually said these words out loud, he couldn’t even look at Jesse anymore he was way too embarrassed.  
“But why?” Jesse asked him and he looked confused at him.  
“You really ask why. Because you make me feel special and you always make me smile even when I’m feeling like shit and you bring me out of my own head, which nobody was ever able to do. And because I love that you don’t care what other people think and you are just yourself and don’t change for anyone. And these are just a few things there are so many more.” Marcus said and was sure that with this explanation this would be the end of his friendship with Jesse he wanted to get up and get out of Jesses sight.  
When he felt that Jesse grabbed his arm.  
“No don’t leave” said Jesse quietly and looked shy at him and Marcus was even more confused.  
Then Jesse leaned forward and Jesses lips met his own and it was so shy and tender and Marcus nearly forgot how to breathe.  
When they moved away from each other and Marcus finally found his words again and said, “you like me as well?”  
“I’m supposed to be the dumb one not you. Of course I like you.” Jesse laughed.  
“But all of those girls you talked about and the night after Croatia when you didn’t want to speak with me and you rather went out to shag some random Russian bird?” Marcus was confused this just all didn't seem real more like some sort of alternative universe.  
“I never thought you would actually like me, I saw no chance for me and you and I didn't want to make it awkward between us so I didn't say anything and you can like both guys and girls Rashy, I think you know that." Jesse paused and smiled at him, "and the night after Croatia, I didn’t want to show you how broken I was because I’m always the person for you that puts a smile on your face and I was ashamed that I couldn’t do it and I don’t know why I even went out maybe I just wanted to get away from you because you seemed so sad and I just hadn’t had to strength to be the person to make you happy again that night.”

“You don’t always have to be the person that makes me smile all the time I want to make you smile as well, when you are feeling down. That night I wanted to do nothing more than hold you in my arms and make you feel better again.” Marcus said holding Jesses hand in his.  
“We are both really dumb aren’t we?” Jesse laughed and Marcus felt like everything in his life just fell into place right there.  
He leaned forward and they kissed again, it was so innocent at the start but with time got a bit more heated before Jesse pushed Marcus off a bit.  
“I really can’t do anything more than kiss right now, I’m sorry I’m way too hungover for this can we just kiss and cuddle a bit till I feel a bit better?” Jesse said and smiled at Marcus and how could Marcus say no to this.  
So the laid in bed again, Jesse cuddling up next to Marcus and breathing against Marcus neck.  
“You can be the big spoon for once” Jesse said and Marcus laughed.  
“Oh, what an honour.” Marcus cuckled and held Jesse tightly in his arms.  
“Can you tell me again why you are so in love with me, maybe it will make me feel better again” said Jesse lazily and with sleepy voice which made Marcus giggle.  
“Well I love that you always smile no matter what, I acutally secretly started calling you my own little sunshine…..”

**Author's Note:**

> I also have a tumblr, it's ericdierownsmyheart.tumblr.com


End file.
